I moved to New York in 2024, at 20, without knowing anyone here. I had a job to start and a city I wanted to live in. I was excited.
I’d already worked in sales in LA and Las Vegas. I was comfortable walking into a conversation, asking questions, and getting to know someone. I assumed that would help with making friends too.
It did, up to a point. You can have a great conversation, exchange numbers, and never see the person again. I wanted friends I could text on a Friday without having to explain where we’d met.
At UC Riverside, I saw the same people all the time. You could talk for a bit, run into each other later, and eventually start making plans. In New York, you can meet someone you really like and have no reason to cross paths again.
That’s why “just put yourself out there” never felt like the whole answer. I was already doing that. The part I needed to get better at was following up and suggesting an actual plan.
I can be guilty of waiting for the other person too. You both say you should hang out. Neither of you picks a day. A few weeks go by, and now the text feels harder to send than it needed to.
So that’s what I’m trying to do more of: send the text while I still remember the conversation. Suggest something I’d want to do anyway. Give the person an actual invitation they can say yes to.
All writing